The Process

So, we have gotten a lot of questions about the process of adopting (at least our process) so I thought I would just write and explain a little about the whole process and where we are at, etc. Let me start with a disclaimer; EVERY FAMILY HAS A DIFFERENT PROCESS. Things are different between each country, state, agency, and even each family! So, I'm explaining our process and it may be vastly different from what you have heard or even experienced, but that's okay! Here goes:

Step 1: Deciding to adopt :) This is the easy step (really it's a HUGE decision! But you get my drift...)

We had been thinking about this for a long time but decided to take the leap in December 2010

Step 2: Where to adopt from? We weighed our options, but we really felt that domestic was the best choice for us for many reasons. For one thing, travelling outside of the country would be nearly impossible for Ben while he is in command. But aside from that we also felt that there was no real need to go elsewhere when there are many children right here in the U.S. who need loving homes just as much as orphans in other countries.

Step 3: Find an agency Well, here is where things get "fuzzy" for us. We chose an agency. We loved them, and still love what they do, but apparently it was not meant to be because things didn't work out as we planned. So we chose another agency, and that also fell through. SO, now we are going to work with Washington State DSHS and not use an agency. So, while you can have an agency, and most people do have one, it's not necessary for domestic adoption.

We contacted the first agency at the beginning of January 2011 and the second agency in June 2011

Step 4: Training! This is the part where it's not so fun. Training. Washington requires (for some cases, not all) PRIDE training. It's thirty hours of mind-numbing information all about children in the foster care system in the state of Washington. We completed our PRIDE training in April and were quite glad to be done with it! Then we also completed classes on blood borne pathogens and CPR. If you are working with an agency you will also have to do some type of an introduction class for the agency (we have also done this). There is plenty of training, and hopefully it will pay off when we have a new child or children!

We completed our PRIDE training in April 2011

Step 5: PAPERWORK This is the part that seems to never end. We did paperwork after PRIDE training, and then paperwork for each of the agencies (who we are no longer working with). The next step also involves more paperwork, but you'll see that in a second...

We started the paperwork after PRIDE (April 2011) and I'm pretty sure it will never end... :)

Step 6: Home study This part is also different for everyone. Because we don't have an agency we had to hire a private home study agency to complete our home study. In our case it was relatively simple, we called and the social worker was able to come out the following week. He sat down with Ben and I and asked a lot of questions and then toured our home. The home study requires a lot of different things from FBI fingerprints, background checks, recommendations, medical check ups, a LOT of paperwork (we are talking hundreds of pages, honestly!) and of course the home visit. The home study is the key to the rest of the adoption, but right now we are stuck waiting for the FBI to finish processing our fingerprints so they can tell us that we aren't criminals. :) The fingerprints usually take somewhere from 6-13 weeks to process and we submitted these sometime in mid-August so we should be getting close to hearing something. We are really hoping to be "home study ready" by the end of October.

We began the home study in August 2011

Step 7: Find our "forever child/ren" After our home study is complete we will be registered in the WARE (Washington Adoption Resources Exchange) database which will serve two purposes. 1: It will allow us to search and see children who are currently in the system. 2: It will allow social workers in the state access to our profile so that a social worker can potentially contact us with a child or children who fit our criteria. We are very anxious to get to this step so that we can actually work on finding our child/ren!

Step 8: Placement Once we identify the child or children that we are interested in we will probably have a few visits and slowly transition the child into our home. This can take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months depending on many factors.

Step 9: Finalizing the adoption The final step in the process will be to finalize the adoption. The state of Washington requires at least six months between placement and finalization, so the child/ren will have to live with us for at least six months before they are "ours" as far as the state is concerned. However, obviously we will consider the child ours as soon as they are welcomed into our home and we pray that our friends and family will do the same. All of the children that we will be looking to adopt will be "legally free" meaning that all of the parental rights have been terminated so there is no chance of the child going back with their biological parents. Because we don't know exactly how long we will be stationed at Fort Lewis we agreed that this was the only way we would ever have time to finalize an adoption. It typically takes about two years from the time the child is removed from his or her home to the time that the state terminates the rights of the biological parents. It is a loooooooooong process and time is NOT on our side!

Well, there you have it. We are currently on step 6 and we are hoping that we will be on to step 7 soon! As soon as our home study is done we will be able to have a child placed in our home and we are praying that it will be quick. For the sake of our waiting child/ren we really hope that they will be with us by Christmas, but we know that it is all in God's hands!

I hope that helps you to understand some of this crazy ride that we have been on! Thank you for all of the prayers and kind words of encouragement, they really mean a lot to us. Especially on the days where it all seems like it will never come together. Love you all!

B, E & H

Beautiful Picture

This song perfectly demonstrates how we are ALL children of God! Enjoy...

Blessings

Hello, friends!

I had another post in the works, but I really felt inspired to share with you a little bit of what God has been doing around here. First, I have to tell you about the MANY people that we have discovered through this adoption process who are also inspired to adopt. When we were first thinking about adoption we really had a fear that adopting a child into a military family might not be the best thing for the child. Boy were we wrong!

At the time we really only knew one family who had adopted. While they are the most humble and Godly family, I'm going to brag on them a little bit because they have been such an inspiration to us. I met the mom of this family in my MOPS group in Missouri. I was immediately drawn to her sparkling eyes and sweet smile, but more intriguing to me was the fact that she had two two-year olds. What's so special about that? Well, one was blond haired and looked JUST like her mama's clone, while the other has the most beautiful chocolate skin and curly black hair and they were obviously not both her children. After striking up a conversation with this amazing woman I found out that she has five sweet children, two biological, two from China and one from Haiti. Oh, and her husband was in Korea for a year. WOW! God used this family to help us overcome our biggest fear! These children (two of them have major medical issues) were not hurt by being in a military family, instead the whole family was blessed because of their choice to adopt. What a story!

When we moved here to Washington we chose a church pretty quickly. We didn't choose the church because of this, but we soon found out that the pastor and his sweet wife had three beautiful children from Korea. At this point we're thinking... Okay, God, we get it... We had the privilege of watching this family bring home a fourth child who has "designer genes." Sweet Ella Grace, who couldn't walk when she came home, has made amazing progress and has been such a source of joy to everyone who meets her. What an inspiration this family has been to us through the whole process. Their support has been more than we could have ever asked for, and just being able to witness their family grow has been a miracle to us.

Friends, if that were all this wouldn't be a God story! Everywhere we have turned lately it seems that someone else is adopting. When we were still on the fence about adopting I mentioned something about it to a dear friend of mine who was travelling to Ethiopia on a mission trip. She then told me that she was hoping to find a little girl there to adopt. Her sweet daughter is now home with her! When we finally told our neighbors about the adoption (we were a few months into the process at this point) they told us that they had always wanted to adopt and now they are also in the process of adopting out of foster care! A new neighbor friend that just moved in was adopting when she found out she was pregnant. Now she is thinking of becoming a foster parent. Every time I tell someone that we are adopting we find out that they have always thought about it or want more information. God is doing something BIG and I feel so incredibly blessed to be a part of it!

I know that not everyone is called to adopt, so please don't misunderstand me. What I do want to get across is that our God is RELENTLESS when he is pursuing us. Ben and I came up with every possible excuse about why we shouldn't and couldn't adopt but God was not going to just let us go. He has continually pursued us and shown us that we can do this, and that we just need to rely on him. So, my question for you is what is God after you about? What has he been chasing you down with? Maybe it's something life altering or maybe it's just something small like mending a broken relationship. Whatever it is, I pray that you will give in to God and watch him pour his blessings out over you. God is good!!!

Love you, friends!

B, E & H

You learn something new everyday...

Two letters can mean the difference between life and death.

Patience

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him

- Psalm 37:7

Sounds simple, but what a challenge it has been to just sit back and wait. Up until the past week or so we have been so busy with paperwork and all that it hasn't been so hard to wait patiently. However, now we are at the point in the process where we are just waiting for our home study to be finished. Sure, we have a couple things to do (like go to the doctor, ick!) but it has all been scheduled and so we are just waiting. After we both have our physicals this week the only thing we are waiting on (as far as our home study is concerned) is for our fingerprints to come back from the FBI. Just like everything else that has been quite a process; we have actually had our fingerprints done three times now! We are really praying that this will be the last time. The first set went to the agency that we began working with in December, but the prints expire after a year so we didn't want to use ones that were that old. The second set went to Antioch, but they haven't returned yet (the FBI can take up to 13 weeks to process the prints and return them to the agency) and since we aren't working with Antioch any longer it seemed silly to wait on those prints and *hope* they would be released to us. Soooooooo... one last trip to WSP (Washington State Police) and our prints are hopefully being processed in Virginia right now!

We still have a couple open doors, but nothing is certain. There is a baby that we are really praying about. While we weren't necessarily looking for a newborn, this situation presented itself and we certainly felt like we needed to be open to it. If God chooses to inspire this birth mother to pick our family we know that it is His will for us to be the parents of this little one. There is also a sibling set (4 year old boy, 2 year old girl) that we are sepecifically praying for. They are tied up in the court system right now until at least the beginning of November, but we are definitely interested in possibly being a forever family for these children. The social worker was very receptive to us so if nothing comes up sooner I will be contacting her in November to see how the children's situation has progressed and if they will be needing a permanent home.

In the meantime I promise to keep you updated if anything wonderful happens! We are basically just waiting, hoping to hear about a child or children who need a family. Once our homestudy is completed we will be able to login to the WARE (Washington Adoption Resource Exchange) website which will allow us to have more access to children who are waiting in the system. Being registered in WARE will also allow social workers to see that our family is looking for children. I'm really hoping that this will help to open some doors for us in the process.

Pray for our patience during this wait. I know that at any moment the floodgates may open and we might be rushing to find everything we need to welcome a child into our home, but in the meantime it feels as if we aren't making any progress.

Thanks again for all the prayers and support!

B, E & H

When I was waiting quietly for the Lord, His heart was turned to me, and He gave ear to my cry.

- Psalm 40:1

We're BACK!

Well, after a whirlwind adventure to IL, KY and OH, Hunter and I are finally back and trying to resume life as "normal." We had the opportunity to visit with my family and actually spend some time with them which was wonderful. After being in IL for a few days we headed to the Cincinnati area to meet up with a sweet friend of mine and her two amazing kids. It was an extra special treat because it had been TWO YEARS since I saw her and during that time she had adopted a little girl from Ethiopia. Hunter is in love with her! :) Then we headed to Ohio to see Ben's family and attend his youngest brother's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and we are sooooooooooo excited to have Karli as the newest member of the family. Anyway, then it was back to IL to return the rental car and now we are finally home! It was a great trip, but it sure is good to be home!

The night before we left on our adventure we began our home study. We are very excited to have this process well on it's way although I will certainly NOT miss the paperwork part of it! I think that I must have scanned and emailed about 60-70 pages yesterday! And that was certainly not all of it!

As I mentioned in my last post, it seems like things with the little boy we were hoping for aren't going to work out. Although I haven't heard anything more from his mother, I am assuming that the silence means that she isn't interested in us and has asked another family to parent him. However, we have had THREE other leads in the past couple weeks! One definitely isn't going to work (not-yet-born twins that have already found a home), but the other two still have some glimmer of home. Please be praying that God will make it clear to us when we have found our newest family member(s)! We have definitely already been feeling the roller coaster of emotions that is characteristic of adoption and we know that it is far from over! One thing that we have been soooooooooooooooooooo aware of during all of this so far is the overwhelming support from family and friends. We are so grateful to each of you for all of your prayers and encouragement. You have no idea how much it means to us!

So, today is kind of an "up" day for me concerning the adoption. Friday was definitely a "down" day. I know that we are going to have so many more ups and downs, I just pray that God will give us the strength to handle each day as it comes.

Love all of you and thanks for joining us on our adventure! :)

B, E & H

Moving forward

Right now it looks like the mother of the little boy we were hoping to adopt will choose another family to keep him. We really have mixed emotions. On one hand, we know that if he belongs in our family God will make sure that he finds his way to us. On the other hand we are disappointed because we really hoped that things may work out in this situation.

Really all this means is that we will continue to move forward and pursue an adoption of a legally free child(ren). It's a small setback, but nothing that we can not overcome! We know that God has everything figured out and that there is a wonderful child (or children!) waiting for us! In the meantime please be praying about a few leads that we have. We can't post much information about any of them, but God has been faithful about opening doors. I can't wait to see what he has in store for our family!

Thanks for being a part of this wild ride, I promise there will be more updates soon!!!

B, E & H