I'm sitting here, in my big, empty house, listening to the sounds of thunder and sleet. And it's beautiful. Not the house - it's a mess. But the silence and solitude are beautiful. Partly because it means that we are all HEALTHY again (praise Jesus! This tired mama needed a break!!!) and partly because it means that I can finally focus on more than just surviving.
This past month, well actually the past couple months, have been pretty trying. Dealing with pneumonia (me), costocondritis (Ben - seriously, who even knew that this existed?!?!) and then Hunter having some unknown awful infection has just been the icing on the cake. But in the end we have survived. It may not have been pretty, but we made it. And we are soooooooo looking forward to finally having some time together as a family. Which is also kind of ironic since just a month ago, after living together in a small hotel room for a week, we would have probably been singing a different tune. Boy does time change things!
I do realize that this blog started as a way to journal our adoption story. And as much as it stinks, right now I have no idea if and when that journey will continue. It's so crazy to think that things can change so quickly, but I guess that's just life. I think I may have mentioned this before (if I did please forgive me for repeating myself,) but we have done some research and it is pretty much impossible for us to pursue adopting from foster care here in Arkansas. Not that it's impossible to do, just that the amount of time that we anticipate being here isn't long enough to do all of the work that it will take to become eligible to adopt here. Unfortunately we would basically have to start over since we have a new house in a different state (so we would need a new home study), we don't have an AR state foster license, and the process is such that it just takes a while to complete. Disappointing? YES! But we were pretty much expecting it to be that way. And unfortunately there isn't a whole lot we can do since Ben doesn't really get much say in where and when we move.
That said, we are still open to the idea of adoption and certainly don't feel like it is an impossibility for our family! The best we can do for right now is just to be patient (see, there's that awful word again!) and wait for God's direction. There are so many lessons that I have learned during this whole process and one that keeps knocking me over is that I can't rush God's timing. Abraham and Sarah waited much longer than I have been waiting, and David was anointed 15 years before he took the throne. God's timing is so much better than ours and the more that I try to push things to happen in my time, the worse it goes. So instead I'm going to focus on all of the other blessings that I have, be content, and keep waiting to see what God has in store for the Feicht family! Who knows what may happen, but I am excited to watch God write our story so that when others hear it they know, without a doubt, that God was the author.
So today I am trying to just take a little time to focus on some of the little things that I have been neglecting while I was playing patient and nurse. Like the fact that I am the assistant director for a budding non-profit. And I have a 30 page IRS Application for Recognition of Exemption Under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code packet that I need to be working on. And a few million loads of laundry. And some dishes. And a lunch date with some new friends. And... well, you get the point! It's not like there isn't anything to do!
Thank you all for all the prayers while we were moving, and sick! Our God is so much bigger than our problems and our disappointments. I am so grateful that HE is the one that directs our paths!
Love you all!
B, E & H