Panic!

This morning I called our home study agency again. I'm pretty certain that they are sick of me, but the squeaky wheel gets the oil, right? It's a good thing that I called because I found out that yesterday they received our FBI fingerprint clearances and after a little convincing they told me that they should have our home study completed sometime next week! Now, I'll believe that when I see it, but either way, we are getting CLOSE! Hence the title of this post...

I'd be lying if I said that everything has been easy. You've probably read some of the struggles we have had - agencies, home study, etc. -  but what I'm referring to is the inner struggles. Let me clarify.

We KNOW that this is what we have been called to do. No doubt about it. However, that doesn't make it easy. Right now our life is pretty comfortable. We have a nice house, wonderful neighbors and friends, a pretty well behaved and very lovable little boy, a happy marriage... you get the picture. This process has forced us to step out of our comfort zone in so many ways. We have had a glimpse into some of the terrible things that happen to children and families and instead of running away we have had to walk toward the suffering. That is hard. But, it is the only way that we can truly find the heart of God. Isn't that beautiful? The thing that carries me through is that it is through our response to suffering that we can be the hands and feet of God. What a privilege.

By accepting this call to adoption we are opening ourselves to a world of pain and suffering that we may not otherwise know. We are exposing our son to things that he wouldn't otherwise experience and we are certainly becoming vulnerable to a lot of pain, heartbreak and rejection. And I wouldn't change it for the world. However, it is comforting to me to know that even though I know that this is what we are supposed to do I'm not alone in wishing that it could be easier, or less painful. Jesus, while praying in the garden before his arrest and crucifixion asked God, "Father if you are willing take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done (Luke 22:42)" It comforts me to know that the Savior of the world, God's very own Son, understands that it is often painful to do what God asks of us.

We have been so incredibly blessed to have the support of all of our family and friends, and for that we are infinitely grateful. And we are praying that the transition that is sure to come will be as easy as possible. While we continue to wait we will prepare as best as we can, but I feel like no matter what we do we will never be fully prepared for what may come.

Love you all, pray for us! :)

B, E & H